I Didn’t Ask to Be Crazy – Sadee Bee – 2022

Drops of rain cover my face
Blending with my tears as I face the sky
Mother Earth understands my pain
Her soft droplets a gentle caress on my cheeks
Her wind a subtle embrace
Holding me while I fall apart

Clouds cover the sun
The way a shadow shields my heart
I haven’t seen the sun in so long
I’ve tried so hard to find it
Only to be smothered by shadows that cling

I scream into the sky
Begging Mother Earth to show me the sun one last time
To part the clouds and ease the rain
The manifestation of all that I have become
She responds with the wind and,
more smooth raindrops with the subtle smell of petrichor

I know she means me to weather the storm
Her ways are not difficult to understand
Only to accept
As this storm has raged for many years
Under her watchful eye

Mother Earth, why must I suffer so?
I respect her power, her grace, her process
Still, I grow weary
The rain soaks every part of me
I am at her feet, pleading to be dry
She says I am not ready

How would she know?
She’s been ignoring my cries
Battering me with a constant struggle
Haven’t I grown?
Have I not learned the lesson she means to impart?
Perhaps I’ve given up too many times

I was able to cope in the beginning
My singular umbrella, carried away by the wind
Leaves of trees provide little comfort
Mother Earth is nourishing them while drowning me
I shall become what she aims to save
Roots run deep, channeling the rain, my tears
I shall take refuge with them
Leave my body beneath the damp dirt
Only then will I be able to bloom

-SB